Teachable Moments from MAFS 14/2/19: the positive!

(Happy Valentine's Day - if that's your thing)


Today's post will focus on the good.

Teaching kids about healthy relationships can't just dwell on the bad and scary stuff or they'll tune out and/or be terrified of intimacy.

Positive examples are just as important as warnings, maybe more-so.


Respect is a word that is thrown around as a goal, but so rarely modelled.

The (albeit edited) relationship between Jules and Cam seems properly respectful.

Teachable examples of RESPECT:

Jules is ready for the dinner party first so she grabs the iron and starts ironing Cam's shirt. He then walks in, takes the iron and finishes it. She's not doing "1950's housewife", she's just ready first and helping.

Jules and Cam discuss if and how they want to talk about the fact they've had sex BEFORE they talk to anyone else. They agree that they're happy to tell the group but don't want details discussed. Cam is not champing at the bit to tell "the boys" and doesn't try to use it to score masculinity points.

Jules and Cam acknowledge - respectfully and kindly - that if they "walked down the street" they probably wouldn't have picked each other out based on appearance alone. Neither fit the rigid, ridiculous idea of physical perfection that someone like a Sam or Ines want - both have more depth and not only look deeper, but find each other sexy as hell BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.

(Side note: I personally think both of them are hot-as-fark and much sexier than the so-called "good looking" ones. Jules in particular is GORGEOUS. But enough about me.)

Jules and Cam are connected, but not glued together. Watch them at the dinner party. They don't need to dry-hump at the table (maybe Martha and the silent guy are sick of getting no attention?), but they are affectionate, they come and go from each other to interact and bond with the others, and they check in. Cam is not Jules' personal waiter (Cyrrel - WTF?), but they are both helpful and kind to each other.

And, then there's the way they look at each other. So lovely. Who can tell, but I get the feeling that once the limerence phase wears off, they'll be ok. They can sit and watch cricket while holding hands.

I won't spoil this post with the shit that also happened last night - aye aye aye - but I've attached my tweets.

Nelly x

PS if I were watching this show with my daughters I would not be focussing on Sam who is clearly a dickhead. From my POV, the most potentially dangerous one Mike. He gets away with a lot because he's better at covering and charming his way through. His misogyny and narcissism are palpable and MASSIVE RED FLAGS.